启德深圳校区

在雅思作文中经常需要举例，一是字数的需要，二是论证的需要，三是让作文显得生动活泼的需要。因此，几乎所有雅思作文，都需要举例。

那么，怎样举例才能得到高分？

首要的一个问题就是：举什么作为例子？名人经历，个人经历，同学朋友经历，小说里读到的，电影里看到的，报纸上刊登的......，都可以作为例子来证明你的观点！

然后，怎么举例？唐老师区分两类：有形的举例和无形的举例。有形的举例就是用一些for instance, for example, a case in point is...这样的狗血连接词来举例，通常显得生硬，但很明晰；无形的举例就是把例子自然地融入到上下文中，虽然没有连接词，却胜似有连接词，这样的举例就像武功高手，收放自如，举重若轻，却显得优雅，有格调。

唐老师先简单讲讲有形的举例，然后把重点放在无形的举例。

有形的举例

比如:

(1) Hard work is more important than the innate talent. For example, my friend John is a great piano player though he is not really gifted, because he practices playing piano almost every day.

努力工作比天分更重要。怎么来说明这个道理？最好的办法就是举例。举什么？举我的隔壁朋友。虽然他天分不怎么样，但他依然弹得好，因为他天天练习。这个例子很直接地说明了努力比天分更重要。

(2) One benefit machines have brought to us is that it saves us huge amount of time. In the case of making a pair of shoes, almost 70% of manufacturing time could be reduced if it were mass-produced according to some research findings.

机器带给我们的好处之一是节约我们时间。怎么说明这个道理？举例！举什么例？大型机器生产在制鞋业，可以节约70%的生产时间。这个例子也很有力地说明了论点。

有形的举例比较容易，唐老师在写真题范文时，也曾多次应用到这个策略。请看：

1.   More significantly, living with people of different ethnic groups will enable us to become more understanding and tolerant, which is, of course, very important to a peaceful world. In my neighborhood, for example, there are people from China, India and Africa. During Chinese New Year Holidays, we invite our Indian and African friends to our house and show them how Chinese people spend their Spring Festival. Our Indian neighbors teach us how to play cricket, which is their national sports and African friends show us the beautiful dances particular to their culture. In this way, we share what we have and learn what we do not, and our neighborhood is always happy and full of joy.

2.  On the one hand, many people hold the opinion that health care should be free. They argue that, if the health care is free, people will not have to worry about the expensive health care expenses. This is particularly important for those economically underpriviledged. With free health care, they can go to hospital whenever they find there is anything wrong with their health without worrying about money. This will, of course, enhance their sense of well-being and the entire society will become much more harmonious.My uncle is a good example. He developed T.B. when he was at his 50s. He would be dead now but for the free health care policy practiced in the region where he lives. Now he and his family are very much grateful to the local government and would do everything for it.

好了，接下来，唐老师就要告诉你一些自己总结的雅思高分举例策略了:

策略1：高度浓缩，直指需要论证问题的核心

策略2：多为复杂句，包含比较丰富、具体的内容

策略3：一般用1句，也可用1短句 +1长句的组合

题目

范文

Some students use websites which offer ready-made assignments. This is not a good idea, even if you ignore the fact that it is cheating, because such websites may contain factual errors or biased views. In a recent case, a student found herself in serious trouble when she submitted an essay from one of these sites only to discover that it was about Austria, not Australia, but had an error in the title. 

（来源：雅思官方9分范文）

For example, a student got an essay from one website and submitted it to the professor. Then she discovered that it had an error in the title. It was about Austria, not Australia. The student found herself in serious trouble.

Sometimes the most talented person can make for（走向；成为）one of the most ineffective managers. You can see this in sports, for example, where retired superstars often find it difficult to coach or manage successfully because they are now supervising lesser mortals that weren’t blessed with the same degree of innate talent.

  (BBC May 28, 2014)

Sometimes young people can do a better job than their older counterparts in leading a team forward. You can see this in IT sector, for example, where the old people often find it impossible to head a team because their past experience and expertise fall out too soon to be useful any more.

We need an authoritative voice telling people to take breaks in your days, to slow down. I remember I met once with a young person, 21 years old, who said every time she tried to study or focus she would find herself staring at the clouds and trees. Later I found she did not have any disorder; what she really needed was nothing else but a break. 

( Chicago Tribune, August 18, 2015)

学生习作

The situation would be better if people really tried their best to save the creature. Panda is a good example. Panda is a typical endangered animal which only lives in China. The number of Panda used to be less than 200. Nevertheless, the lovely appearance of panda attract the world’s attention. It is favoured by people all over the world. Finally, though it is still endangered, the number of panda grows to 1000. According to these, it is obvious that the situation can be changed.

这里的论点是：如果我们尽力挽救动物，动物灭绝的情形就会改变。怎么论证？该同学举了熊猫的例子。她的思路是这样的：熊猫是一种濒危动物，只有中国才有。熊猫以前的数量不足200。然而，熊猫的可爱模样吸引了世界的注意力。全世界的人都喜欢熊猫。最后，虽然还是濒危动物，但其数量增长了1000。这就说明，情形显然是可以改变的。

如何评价这个举例？首先，举例内容很合适，完全说明了观点。其次，举例语言大体也清楚。这样的文字可得6分，但要更上一层楼，必须改进，必须按照唐老师刚才的高分举例标准进行改造：最多2句话，重点内容用主句，细节用从句。唐老师这样改写：

Panda is a good example. As an endangered species found only in China, the number of Panda has grown from 200 a decade ago to 1000, thanks to the protection from people all over the world attracted by their lovely appearance.

把数量增长作为全句的核心，细节包容在主句之中。