雅思写作批改。这次环球雅思小编给大家发一下一些雅思作文的学生成文还有老师的修改，希望大家从修改的地方能提醒自己注意一些关于雅思写作语法和表达上的问题。今次介绍的是旅游类的雅思写作以及批改。
题目：休闲产业
Leisure is a growing industry, but
people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because
the us of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree or
disagree?
学生原文以及批改：
When it comes to leisure, some professors from Peking University believed that modern technology will sooner or later take the place of traditional methods to relax and it will take up the
most of people’s leisure time. However, other people hold an adverse
perspective. Personally, I am in favour of the former for some good
reasons as followed follows.
Admittedly, using some advanced technology for relaxation such as suffering surfing the Internet also has its benefits to some extend extent. It provides
people with more sound and visual effects by listening some music and
watching videos on-line, among all these videos and sounds, people
obtain a multitude of information which is far beyond what they could
get in their whole past experience lifetime. Due to these information, people obtain a varity variety of gossip about the celebrities, and it satisfied them with fulfills people’s curiosity.
However, the information on the Internet is not carefully selected, so
it may contain some pornographic and violent contents which are harmful
to their psychological development and creativity.
From what has been mentioned about, spare people’s leisure time in some traditional ways for relax maybe more effective and efficiency it is more effective and efficient for people to spare their leisure time without the high technology. For instance, doing some exercise or taking a vocation including vocation such as jogging and camping not only enables them to relieve the pressure, but in the same way that it also can cultivate their tempment temperament to some extend extent who can resist the temptation from Pictureresque and poetic scenery which provide them imagination to be more creative.
Getting close to nature and socialising with friends can bring people
good health, stimulate their imagination as well as promote their
creative thinking.
All in all, traditional methods for relaxing take up a significant position in modern entertainment, however, it is not to say that modern technology should be resisted considering the future of modern technology, people can combine them together.
以上就是小编今天的内容，雅思写作方面，希望对大家雅思写作方面提高有所帮助
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